| Not Jewish, but very funny.. |
[09 Dec 2005|07:13am] |
"The Night Before Kink-mas"
'Twas the Eve before Kinkmas, my girl was bound tight.
A hot scene was planned in the dungeon that night.
My boi was restrained to a crossbar with care
Her nipples were hard and her bottom was bare.
And I, with my harness and lubricant slick
Planned to nail that boi to the bed with my dick
Or perhaps o'er the whipping horse I'll make her bend
To let her feel Daddy's cock up her rear end.
But first for some torture, some happy extremes
That boi plays it stoic, the girl always screams
A flogging, a fucking, a fisting, now which?
It's hard to decide when you're truly a switch.
When out in the yard there arose such a din
I was flogging my girl just as Santa slipped in.
"You scared me," I cried, "almost out of my wits."
"Tough shit," said Santa and grabbed hold of my tits.
Though I was in top space, that grip's sure to please,
She twisted and soon I was down on my knees.
"I've been watching all year to observe if you're nice,"
I groaned as she tightened her hand like a vice.
"You've been bad, very bad, now you'll get your desserts,
I've some presents for you girl and every one hurts."
My eyeballs grew wide as she let in her crew
She had eight randy reindeer (give or take one or two)
Who'd been out in the cold all night towing a sleigh
I had no doubt they'd now all want their way.
Plus Santa, that's nine who would surely make free
With me and my girlfriend and houseboi, just three.
Those were very good odds and I said with a grin,
To the reindeer, "Be welcome to my house, come in."
And what to their wondering eyes did they see?
But us naked and horny, the girl, boi and me.
First Dasher and Dancer and Donner did tricks
Impaling us all with their cute reindeer dicks.
But Blitzen and Comet preferred to give pain
As they came to my side, each was holding a cane.
And one then another, my ass sorely beat
Those canes were not candy, but oh were they sweet!
Away in the corner, as if in a dream
My masochist boi was now muffling a scream.
For Vixen had pinned her and started to slap
Her round, heaving butt with a thick leather strap.
The welts on the ass of my blindfolded boi
Were a lustrous purple and moved me to joy.
My girlfriend, compliant and eager to please
Gave Cupid a blowjob, down on her knees.
While Comet kept caning my ass to a burn
Old Claus buggered Prancer awaiting her turn.
An orgy of reindeer and humans and elf
I moaned when they hit me in spite of myself.
Those reindeer then tied up my girl to the rack
Dripping red and green candle wax onto her back.
They turned her right over and gave the girl fits
By pouring more melted wax onto her tits.
And twisting and pulling her nipples quite rough.
Still my sweet girlie had not had enough.
Santa went to the mantel and fished through a sock
That hung there and pulled out - a 14 inch cock!
'Twas latex and shiny and longer than wide
In a flash Santa stood by my good girlfriend's side.
The smile on her face was as big as grins get
As she said, "spread 'em bitch, the night's not over yet!"
I watched, green with envy as Santa then plowed
My lover's wet cunt until she cried out loud.
She took that big cock and she begged for some more
I knew that by morningh she'd really be sore.
My own cunt was aching and hungry for love
I looked up at Comet who hovered above.
"Have mercy, good reindeer, or I'll go insane,
"You've beaten my ass to a pulp with your cane.
"I don't mean to be whiny, it was great and I'm glad,
"But if I don't cum soon, I will surely go mad."
Comet gave me a wink as she pulled out her dick
It was shorter than Santa's but nearly as thick.
She said, "just relax, little switch don't be sad.
"We give Yuletide presents to the girls who've been bad.
"You've been badder than most," Comet said with a grin
As she lubed up that dick so she could stick it in.
Then she kneeled over me where I lay on the floor.
As she thrust hard and deep, I let loose with a roar.
"You've been bad," she repeated as her cock reamed my bum
"You can play with your own clit if you want to cum."
And Santa was peeking, that wicked old elf
She laughed as she watched while I played with myself.
As I pleasured my clit with a flick of a wrist
Old Santa approached me - with lube on her fist!
I could not believe so much yuletide good luck
For Santa is known as a jolly fine fuck.
With Comet behind me and Santa before
I heaved and I thrashed and I writhed on the floor.
And rubbing my clit 'til I came with a shout
The reindeer kept fucking, but Santa pulled out.
She glanced at the clock and then went for the door
"You're our first stop tonight, but there's ten thousand more."
"Cum Dasher, cum Dancer, cum Prancer, cum all,
"There's work to be done and there's no time to stall.
"We've only one night and much pleasure to give
"To leather dykes everywhere leather dykes live."
I glanced out the window as they drove away
A fleet of eight Harleys was towing her sleigh.
Then I heard her exclaim as they roared out of sight,
"Happy Kink-mas to all and make sure the rope's tight!"
copyright 2000 Joy Schulenburg
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